I found myself thinking too much while walking up the stairs today. Then a thought: it'd be nice to have just the right amount, intensity & quality of energy in the 'mind', 'heart' & 'hands'. Yes, it is possible, and noticing the imbalance is the first step.
In the evening realize that I don't need to do what I've been doing today, that is overloading myself with the information from the lectures, internet and so on ... No. I need to do nothing, as much as I can.
So, laptop off, and now to lie down on the floor for a while...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Noticing
It was good to remind myself today how important noticing is in the Technique.
So, what did I notice today?
In the morning, when crossing the street and waiting for the cars to pass by I was tensing and pulling my shoulders up.
In the evening, I was slouching while sitting at the computer. Once I noticed this I stopped collapsing.
So, two instances of mis-use of the self, actually.
So, what did I notice today?
In the morning, when crossing the street and waiting for the cars to pass by I was tensing and pulling my shoulders up.
In the evening, I was slouching while sitting at the computer. Once I noticed this I stopped collapsing.
So, two instances of mis-use of the self, actually.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Assert yourself
You assert yourself by freeing the neck and going up. These are the words of Walter Carrington from one of his talks. Once I heard this statement I immediately connected it with my work at school, what a tremendous yet simple & practical application of the Technique.
* * * * *
Feel ill again. This can be clearly observed in the body, particularly in the head. How does it feel? As if the parts of the whole were disconnected.
* * * * *
Feel ill again. This can be clearly observed in the body, particularly in the head. How does it feel? As if the parts of the whole were disconnected.
Notes from the first lesson
I browsed through my AT materials recently, and came across the notes from my first series of 10 AT lessons, and in fact the first proper (a long one that is) AT lesson. That was with Rachel, in the Summer 2006.
Taking up the series of lessons was the second very important & formative decision I made in my life, the first being attending the Guitar Craft Course where I actually had my first contact with the Technique (Summer 2004)
It took my 2 years before I was able to afford private lessons, but it was worth waiting.
I found the re-reading of the notes useful, so thought it'd be nice to share them here:
Introductory Lesson (21/08)
Lying in semi supine position.
Three positions of the hands:
- touching the ribs
- on the soft belly
- touching the hips
Recommendation to use the chair for lie-down.
Remark on which leg dominates?
What leg do I start walking with?
Releasing back, left side, right side and front of the neck.
Thinking about the parts of the body as being soft.
Remark on grounding. Always ask where the grounding is?
Where are the eyes?
Accept the support of the floor.
Only do what is needed - sufficient tension.
That was about 3.5 years ago.
Taking up the series of lessons was the second very important & formative decision I made in my life, the first being attending the Guitar Craft Course where I actually had my first contact with the Technique (Summer 2004)
It took my 2 years before I was able to afford private lessons, but it was worth waiting.
I found the re-reading of the notes useful, so thought it'd be nice to share them here:
Introductory Lesson (21/08)
Lying in semi supine position.
Three positions of the hands:
- touching the ribs
- on the soft belly
- touching the hips
Recommendation to use the chair for lie-down.
Remark on which leg dominates?
What leg do I start walking with?
Releasing back, left side, right side and front of the neck.
Thinking about the parts of the body as being soft.
Remark on grounding. Always ask where the grounding is?
Where are the eyes?
Accept the support of the floor.
Only do what is needed - sufficient tension.
That was about 3.5 years ago.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Up in the rain
I had to do my lunch duty outside one of the school blocks today. At one point it started to rain.
I used to react to the rain by pulling my shoulders up and pulling the neck/body down, as if somehow it could protect me, or change anything. This I believe is actually quite common reaction.
So, an opportunity to respond. I let my neck be free and go up and enjoy standing and walking in the rain.
* * * * *
And in the evening: guitar practice. A very informative context for practicing AT Principles. Today I keep checking my breath and keep giving myself the permission to breathe.
I used to react to the rain by pulling my shoulders up and pulling the neck/body down, as if somehow it could protect me, or change anything. This I believe is actually quite common reaction.
So, an opportunity to respond. I let my neck be free and go up and enjoy standing and walking in the rain.
* * * * *
And in the evening: guitar practice. A very informative context for practicing AT Principles. Today I keep checking my breath and keep giving myself the permission to breathe.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Automatic thinking
I came back home walking after work today. During this walk I found myself unable to let go of some persistent thoughts about something that happened earlier during the day. Finally, at one point, I simply stopped and paused...
Sense the grounding - pay attention to the space outside - let the neck be free.
Then I continued walking, while maintaining this twofold direction of attention. This lessened the grip of thoughts, without supressing them.
Sense the grounding - pay attention to the space outside - let the neck be free.
Then I continued walking, while maintaining this twofold direction of attention. This lessened the grip of thoughts, without supressing them.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Another day - another opportunity
Listen to more Walter Carrington's talks today - on the way to school and during lie-down in the evening. This is a quality fuel and inspiration for my practice. I prefer listening than reading about the AT, after all the teacher's use is expressed in his/her voice.
Short, but quality lie down in the evening. It actually surprises me how quickly I collected myself today - there we go, were we having expectations? This lie down also reminded me that on the busy days like today, the most useful and constructive thing I can do is simply to stop and come to stillness. It also reminded me that AT is the tool for becoming more present that works for me.
It's always good to be reminded of this. Sure, I know these things intellectually, but seeing & feeling it is a different thing.
Short, but quality lie down in the evening. It actually surprises me how quickly I collected myself today - there we go, were we having expectations? This lie down also reminded me that on the busy days like today, the most useful and constructive thing I can do is simply to stop and come to stillness. It also reminded me that AT is the tool for becoming more present that works for me.
It's always good to be reminded of this. Sure, I know these things intellectually, but seeing & feeling it is a different thing.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Direction Journal
I recently came across an online AT journal with a very good audio resources.
http://www.directionjournal.com/
A collection of Walter Carrington's talks is priceless.
http://www.directionjournal.com/
A collection of Walter Carrington's talks is priceless.
Letting go
Back online after several days away in Leeds...
My current focus in practice is on letting go. I was once advised to ground myself before actually attempting to do it. Indeed, if there's no security, the anxiety might arise - the relationship to what I wish to let go of is fixed and prevents letting go from happening.
Today I paid particular attention to the connection of my sitting bones with the seat.
My current focus in practice is on letting go. I was once advised to ground myself before actually attempting to do it. Indeed, if there's no security, the anxiety might arise - the relationship to what I wish to let go of is fixed and prevents letting go from happening.
Today I paid particular attention to the connection of my sitting bones with the seat.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Recovery
Day of recovery at home.
Active Sitting procedure in the afternoon, following written guidelines from Rachel, my AT teacher in Harrogate.
Few minutes of this seems to be enough today. Notice that this procedure provides a firm basis for a sitting meditation practice, that is, it prepares an alert and poised body that will actively participate in the experience and will be able to 'hold it'.
Also 30 minutes of lie-down. At one point an email arrives on my mobile lying just next to me. An opportunity to practice inhibiting the inner reaction. I don't have to check it now, I can wait.
Active Sitting procedure in the afternoon, following written guidelines from Rachel, my AT teacher in Harrogate.
Few minutes of this seems to be enough today. Notice that this procedure provides a firm basis for a sitting meditation practice, that is, it prepares an alert and poised body that will actively participate in the experience and will be able to 'hold it'.
Also 30 minutes of lie-down. At one point an email arrives on my mobile lying just next to me. An opportunity to practice inhibiting the inner reaction. I don't have to check it now, I can wait.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Demanding day
A demanding day.
Last evening I already felt kind of sick, but this morning was particularly challenging: headache, body pains and general dopiness. I made it to the school and to the lessons, and it went pretty fine actually, but establishing contact with my body resembled trying to talk to someone across the room full of people talking loudly, while that someone doesn't actually want to listen. It was also about listening ... noise, mostly.
So, gentle attempts to let go of the tensions at work...
Recovery lie-down in the evening that turned to a nap, good. More freedom in the body at the very end of the day - look forward to my tomorrow's practice...
Last evening I already felt kind of sick, but this morning was particularly challenging: headache, body pains and general dopiness. I made it to the school and to the lessons, and it went pretty fine actually, but establishing contact with my body resembled trying to talk to someone across the room full of people talking loudly, while that someone doesn't actually want to listen. It was also about listening ... noise, mostly.
So, gentle attempts to let go of the tensions at work...
Recovery lie-down in the evening that turned to a nap, good. More freedom in the body at the very end of the day - look forward to my tomorrow's practice...
Monday, March 15, 2010
Let the neck be free...
I had a very sound and restful sleep last night, how I missed it! No doubts it was thanks to yesterday's new beginning.
What, where and when to practice? A good question. Today I follow my sense and decide to work during my way to school. Pay attention to the neck, and ask it to be free. When I reach the bottom of my stairs I notice the difference and the moment where I have to be careful and make the choice - one can get carried away by the bright ideas in practice and one can be responsive and spontaneous and ... have fun with the Technique.
Well, today I maintain my clear and simple aim throughout the travel.
That itself brought me into collected state. In one moment notice how particular blockage in the neck has been cleared and the energy was finally able to travel freely through the body - down through the spine, and the legs, to the earth. Great, this is more close to what being alive in the body feels like.
The sense of calmness that came through this work extended in the morning and my first lesson at school went great, better than usual. Then, the state inevitably started to diminish, but that's alright, the process has a natural speed and dynamics that have to be accepted.
The second part of the day at work - draining. A recovery lie-down in the evening.
What, where and when to practice? A good question. Today I follow my sense and decide to work during my way to school. Pay attention to the neck, and ask it to be free. When I reach the bottom of my stairs I notice the difference and the moment where I have to be careful and make the choice - one can get carried away by the bright ideas in practice and one can be responsive and spontaneous and ... have fun with the Technique.
Well, today I maintain my clear and simple aim throughout the travel.
That itself brought me into collected state. In one moment notice how particular blockage in the neck has been cleared and the energy was finally able to travel freely through the body - down through the spine, and the legs, to the earth. Great, this is more close to what being alive in the body feels like.
The sense of calmness that came through this work extended in the morning and my first lesson at school went great, better than usual. Then, the state inevitably started to diminish, but that's alright, the process has a natural speed and dynamics that have to be accepted.
The second part of the day at work - draining. A recovery lie-down in the evening.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Back online
I'm back online with the AT journals. There are several reasons why I decided to begin writing again.
One of them is a wish to reconnect with the Technique. It's a very special time for me, on one hand there's a nourishment and joy coming from some changes in my personal life / relationship, on the other hand my professional life is quite demanding these days, so I need something practical to keep myself centered, poised & alert. Whatever is going on, good, or not-so-good I need to feel more present amongst it all.
The aim of this journal is to provide space for comments, noticings and observations related to my daily AT work. The other aim is to support my practice and preparations for the teacher training course.
* * * * *
Go shopping in the afternoon, so take the opportunity of having 'an AT walk'. It reminded me of two things: firstly, the attention is needed to do this work, and secondly, this works is actually very practical means of developing attention.
Pay attention to the holdings and tensions in motion.
* * * * *
An AT lie-down in the afternoon. OK, let's get real - without re-establishing the daily practice of this foundational procedure my AT work is going to remain the fantasy. I used most of my 'AT money' up, so need to put them back in the bank again. I won't be able to do much without it - an example? Straight after the lie-down I went to take the laundry out of the machine, but just before bending down I noticed something and said to myself: hold on, there's some misuse just about to happen here. I was alert enough to notice -> respond / inhibit, but it is often not possible, and I think it's because of lack of that 'AT fuel', that lie-down generates.
One of them is a wish to reconnect with the Technique. It's a very special time for me, on one hand there's a nourishment and joy coming from some changes in my personal life / relationship, on the other hand my professional life is quite demanding these days, so I need something practical to keep myself centered, poised & alert. Whatever is going on, good, or not-so-good I need to feel more present amongst it all.
The aim of this journal is to provide space for comments, noticings and observations related to my daily AT work. The other aim is to support my practice and preparations for the teacher training course.
* * * * *
Go shopping in the afternoon, so take the opportunity of having 'an AT walk'. It reminded me of two things: firstly, the attention is needed to do this work, and secondly, this works is actually very practical means of developing attention.
Pay attention to the holdings and tensions in motion.
* * * * *
An AT lie-down in the afternoon. OK, let's get real - without re-establishing the daily practice of this foundational procedure my AT work is going to remain the fantasy. I used most of my 'AT money' up, so need to put them back in the bank again. I won't be able to do much without it - an example? Straight after the lie-down I went to take the laundry out of the machine, but just before bending down I noticed something and said to myself: hold on, there's some misuse just about to happen here. I was alert enough to notice -> respond / inhibit, but it is often not possible, and I think it's because of lack of that 'AT fuel', that lie-down generates.
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