Break

I'm off to Poland until the end of the year, so most likely I won't be posting much on this blog until I come back to London.

Remembering to play

When I visited LCATT recently I had a turn from the teacher who was very playful in her approach to teaching the AT. Last night I went on the OCG Aphorisms page and was reminded to remember to play.

I reflected on it in the context of the Alexander Technique. There's a wonderful space of possibilities open here. For me, the key word is spontaneity.

Today I began the guitar practice with directing attention to my body, then quietly proceeded with an empty string exercise. While doing this I went through the body scan: head, shoulders, right arm, left arm, the torso, hips area, right leg, left leg - going into details, also remembering the basic 3 AT directions.

It wasn't planned, yet it worked nicely. At the end of the session I remembered to play, but before I began: stop and listen to what is going on inside...

Reminding factor

A daily work with the breathing procedure is bearing its fruits. I noticed over the past few days that I am in general more often aware of my breathing, and also, more comfortable with it. This is a very welcomed development, but also a work in progress, of course.

Making myself aware of breathing as often as I can is not my aim here. The breathing itself became the reminding factor, like with the sensation.

Reaching the stillness

It's been a very calming and centering day - thanks to the guitar sessions and several lie-downs / exercises ... I'm also almost recovered from the illness.

I just had my favourite type of lie-down - gently scanning the body and ask individual parts to do nothing - to inhibit any muscular activity. The capacity to go into details and to maintain the attention for longer periods of time was available today. Just wonderful...

AT & Guitar Practice

Guitar Practice - what a wonderful field of application of the AT principles. One specific example of how I approached it today:

I was playing the series of notes on an empty string - the speed was within the comfort zone and I was able to discharge it without any apparent effort. Then I would double the speed of the notes.

It's interesting that although what was required was just to release the wrist faster, all my body would react to that change - I would suddenly hold my breathing, tense and collapse.

I approached it by giving myself the basic directions and to prevent collapsing while doing it. It wasn't really about achieving anything, just experimenting with the process and different ways of approaching this challenging exercise, however there were some positive changes in my coordination as a result of this application.

So, one recurring theme today was to lead myself slightly outside the comfort zone and observe how the body reacts to it.

This is good - it keeps both my AT & Guitar work fresh and interesting.

Hoovering

I chose to apply the AT more intentionally to one of my chores today - hoovering. I set myself to report on what did I notice:

- I was more in touch with my breathing than usual - it was neither free / effortless, nor very restricted / uncomfortable, as it tends to be.

- Doing it the kneeling position allowed me to use the hoover with less effort.

- Effort and tension is not needed for doing things well.

- I experienced a brief moment of joy and satisfaction - feeling settled and comfortable in my body, which is engaged in a practical task, but without being identified with it.

Illness...

I'm almost fully recovered from the chest infection that decided to pay me a visit recently. It'll probably take few more days to complete the last goodbyes, but at least I have enough mental energy to sit down at the laptop and create the post.

3 days ago I have read:

When you become ill, regard your illness as your teacher, not as something to be hated.

Later on that day, when I was lying down in bed at night, these words came back to me. I examined my reactions in the light of this quote. I noticed that my body is actually trying to resist the discomfort in the throat and the chest. As if by opposing it, by tensing, something could be resolved... I decided to be more present to the discomfort, and simply accept it. To respond.

What I described above is just one example of unnecessary energy wasting - perhaps the waste of the very force needed for recovery. Another example: inner complaining and being grumpy that I have to suffer so much! Poor me... Drip, drip, drip - energy leaking away again...

Did I learn anything from the process? Well, I'll verify it when I get ill again. Hopefully not very soon!

The process continues, and this illness seems to be important part of it.

The future

On the top of this blog it says: The other aim is to support my preparations for the AT Teacher Training in London.

So, what's the progress? I recently sent my Application Letter to LCATT and declared that I'd like to begin it in April next year.

At the end of my Application I wrote:

My Aim for this Course is to establish foundations for becoming an excellent AT Teacher.

Doing less ...

Few weeks ago I took the decision to limit the activities I engage in. Meeting groups, classes etc.

What do I actually need? What is sufficient?

I saw this clearly, and acted on this. Now I do less, but with more quality.

There's more space to rest & absorb the experience...

Breathing

Few days ago we treated ourselves with Monika to Effortless Living Practice program by Ingrid Bacci.

A good investment.

Although her approach is nothing new, really, it is NEW and it's good to be able to approach things I think I know in a fresh way.

The foundation of her work is sensing the body...

And then, there's tuning into breath...

I was never comfortable or into breathing exercises. Perhaps because I always found it so unsettling and uncomfortable to work with the breath. It's shallow, tense - and then, what is hidden beneath all these tensions? If there's one major are of weakness / for improvement in my use - it is THE BREATHING.

But then, of course the Use is the wholy body business and it doesn't only involve habits of the body, but also habits of the mind, and attitudes. Well, my attitude to working on breathing is changing...

I recognize the need to work with breathing on a regular basis - I wish to do it.

Effortless Pain Relief

My current AT related reading - recommended by one of the teachers at LCATT:

Not that I'm having any serious problems with pain. It's well and simply written, very engaging.

Let your neck be free!

Changes, changes, changes ... on many levels.

One transition is happing in my relationship with the AT. This perhaps is going to sound unsual, but only now, after 7 years of not always that intensive AT work, I began to notice the changes in my body when I give myself the basic direction of letting your neck be free...

There are probably several reasons for that, one of them may be traced to a short turn I had with one teacher in my future AT School - LCATT. This happened about 2 weeks ago. That teacher would often remind me to give myself the basic directions, whatever that means to me. Yes, the responsibility is on me to come back to it over and over again.

Back, again...

Back on the AT blog - no specific commitment to post daily, or anything of this sort. I have enough outward obligations to keep me going. Actually, I recently felt the need to cut down on the activities I was involved to.

However, given that I'm about the beginning the training in April (hopefully) it'd be good if the AT was one of things in the forefront of my attention ... everyday. It is not often the case.

Anyway, here we are. I'm resting after a rather difficult week. I'm still bit unwell. A day of looking after oneself. I just had a lie-down and listened to the first part of the interview with the AT Teacher who also has an experience in Zen Sitting. He describes the difficulties of having to sit still the beginners in the west tend to experience - sounds familiar!

TBC

Lesson with Judith

On Friday I had a lesson with Judith K, who is one of the assistant Directors at LCATT.

I felt very comfortable working with her - very important, after all we are going to work together for the next 3 years.

She has a very engaging way of talking about the anatomy in relation to AT Work, which is quite rare I think. It made me interested in the subject!

She has asked me what my dominant eye is - this question surprised me, as I haven't even considered this concept in relation to the eyes - dominant hand, or leg, yes, but dominant eye? I wasn't able to answer this question during the lesson, but now when I was writing this I suddenly noticed that it is the right eye, actually.

AT dream and the frog

Yesterday I had a dream: I am already a qualified teacher, giving private lesson to my good friend.

I have my hand on his neck. He is just about to do something, I notice pulling in his neck, so ask him to pause and observe. Then I am guiding him to sit on the chair. He is struggling, being pulled down by the force of habit, I'm going down with him...

The frog kindly agreed to my invitation to make this website more colourful.

The photo taken by in Laszew, Poland by my wife Monika.

First experiences of the Technique & GC

Yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine, who recently had his first 3 AT lessons in Tychy, Poland. He described the effect the first lesson had on him - 'euphoric', as he called it. He was laughing when driving on the bike after the lesson, feeling good in his body...

A very close person recalled laughing and crying at the same time after her second lesson...

My first contact with the Technique was on the Guitar Craft course, and today it's 7 years since I attended the Introduction to Guitar Craft Course. It's difficult to distinguish between the effect of the Technique had on me, as I was I placed under various influences during that week in Plon, Germany.

I remember one group activity we did outside. We were working in pairs. One person was blindfolded, while the other was guiding him/her to touch and sense different objects. That was the first time when I experienced the possibility of having sensitive touch.

I couldn't afford having the private AT lessons for the next 2 years after that course, so I only had the opportunity of working with the Technique on the GC Courses with Mariela C. However I had enough experience and understanding to be able to keep going and benefit from daily lie-downs. Then in 2006 (late Spring / early Summer, can't remember exactly) I started to have the series lessons with Rachel Adie-Rhodes in Harrogate, Yorkshire. When I was doing the 3rd series of 10 it was already clear to me that I wish to train as the AT Teacher.

I don't remember having a single moment of doubt about the rightness of this decision.

Transition

It's 3 weeks until the Summer break - hoooray!

I'm at the end of my second year of working as a Maths teacher in London. Now it's coming to end and I'm feeling better and better every day nearer the end of school year. Yes, I'll be leaving the modern education hell soon, this is quite a relief. I'd be quite happy to enter it again in the future, but in a different role.

2 years of necessary struggle are almost behind and I have the sense that more effortless and creative period is ahead. Hopefully, I'll be able to begin the Training Course in January. I'd say it's VERY likely, but you never know what is really going to happen.

On a more practical level, I still remember about going into the monkey when doing the dishes, this is good. I think I have lesser capacity for learning these days, but I think it's because of the life circumstances over the past few months. This is a little indication that this sponge called Jacek is getting bit more absorbant again.

Washing up

Washing up the cup -> notice that I am leaning forward -> recall the work done with Judith when I visited LCATT recently -> follow her advice and go 'into monkey' -> it'd be good to remember about it next time before I begin.

2 more links

Two more links have been added on the right side of this page: The Orchestra of Crafty Guitarists & kickassmindfulness.

AT Tip of the Week

When someone shares a good stuff with you, you pass it on:

Free Your Neck

You can subscribe to a weekly AT Tip of the Week.

Lie-down, lie-down & lie-down

My sister Ania came to visit us for 2 days from London. She almost completed the course of first 10 AT lessons.

When we came back from the visit in the park Monika decided to have a lie-down. Ania and myself decided to join her. We used the guided recording by R.Brennan.

Very nice and simple moment, to be able do some AT work with my wife and sister.

Lesson in Finsbury Park

The part of the application process in LCATT is having the individual with the director and assistant directors of the school. So, today I went for the lesson with Roger.

Good stuff. Very enjoyable and in some ways challenging experience, challenging in a good way.

I appreciate the variety of teaching styles in LCATT, I think it's its real strength. You get the opportunity of working with different approaches and looking at the Technique from different angles. Roger, for example, trained with Walter Carrington.

The space in his teaching room is very engaging. I found it useful to have different shapes and colours around me. They encouraged me to go out of myself. This is good, as my natural tendency is to withdraw my attention inside.

Visit at tLCATT & Anatomy surprise

At last! I finally have some time for writing.

On Thursday I went to visit the AT school - it was great. This place has a good vibe, after 2 hrs of work I almost felt like the human being again. Yes, the Technique works.

There are many things I like about that school, some of them:

- the day of work begins and completes with group inhibition.

- tea/coffee break in the morning is shared at the table, in other words, there's no dispersion.

- some teachers do some hands-on work on people doing the wash-up.

Not to mention great staff and students, and other things. This is the place where you want to spend 3 years of training.

I was also surprised with the anatomy lesson. It was actually very practical, engaging and fun. What? Anatomy?

AT & Children

Today we have listened to a very interesting interview with Gal Ben-or, who is the AT teacher in Israel and specialises in working with children.

Amazing stuff:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snF45TQWnJ0

Apparently there are not many AT teachers who work with children. I find it surprising, after all this application of the Technique was important to FMA himself.

Breathing

Today I noticed again that when I ask my neck to be free my breathing deepens and becomes more audible. What's this all about I'm wondering?

Below is the picture of the LCATT I have taken yesterday while waiting for my lesson:

Lesson in LCATT

Today I had a private lesson with Refia Sacks, who is the Head of the LCATT.

A good lesson. It only confirmed that I made the right choice about the school.

One of the things we looked at today was the Monkey. I'd like to make it the part of my assigned daily AT practice. This plus a lie-down, of course.

Guided lie-down

I have received the newsletter from the AT Centre in Galway, Ireland today.

In it was the info about the available mp3 download. I bought it, downloaded and listened to it.

It was the second of two 20 minutes guided AT lie-down recordings. Quite basic, which I liked, with a lot of space in it. The space was unnecessarily filled in with music from my point of view, but perhaps it works for others...

It's good to have extra help of the recordings when it's not possible to have regular lessons with the teacher.

Letting go

Today I had a luxury of having four 15 minutes lie-downs. There's a lot to let go of today.

Letting go is a focus of the day for me.

An Alexander Walk

Out for an 'Alexander' walk around Lewisham and Greenwich. I haven't had one for a while.

I give myself time and space to expand when walking, particularly encouraging the lengthening. It's actually kind of a rest in activity.

At one point I stop - notice how difficult it is to stop my end-gaining in walking. Ask myself what are the means-whereby I am going to employ. Once I begin walking again I notice the variety of colours around me, particularly different shades of the grass.

The Alexander Work sharpens perception.

A Wish

I wish Inhibition & Direction were a natural part of the way I do things.

Body, Breath & Being

Still sick, but at least I can gather some attention today...

Work a bit on 'monkey' today. Use one of the recordings that supplements C.Nicholl's book for this.

Current AT reading:

After the bus

I see my bus coming and start to run. Notice the quality of the movement, rather clumsy and awkward. A gentle thought to let me neck be free. The movement becomes easier, I am no longer desperate to get the bus.

An evil world of pencils, sharpener and ...

I had to sharpen several pencils at work today. The amount of pressure I put my hands to do it would probably be sufficient to sharpen 5 of them at the same time. Once I became aware of that, an opportunity to work on myself presented itself. I began to gently think about my neck releasing...

My body began to readjust to this new task in a more constructive manner. The unnecessary pressure in hands decreased, my breathing deepend. I stood up and became more aware of the space around me. Before that I was sucked into an evil world of pencils, sharpener and the end-gaining.

That unnecessary tension in my hands occured more often today, not to mention the moments when I was not aware of its presence. The words of Dr.Nicoll spring to mind: "... The hands so easily express violence"

Hands

We moved to a new apartment yesterday...

I'm typing this sitting on the bed with the laptop on the table that seems too high. This could explain why there is a tension in my hands. It's rather uncommon.

From the report

From today's At-A-Distance work report:

I'm thinking about what will need to be done for tomorrow at work. The amount of is quite overwhelming and I'm worrying about it. At this point I notice that the muscles around my mouth are tense. Bring attention and the relaxation impulse to it. What caused the tension was pretty obvious in this case.

I'm watching the talk on YouTube. At one point notice the tension in my chest. I'm actually not aware of my body at all and all my attention has been in the screen, at least until the moment of seeing this. I come back to myself. My sense is that the tension was caused by too-much focus and leaning on the chair towards the screen. The chest was compressed.

When I look at these comments one week later one obvious response to those situations come up:

Let the neck be free / head goes up and forward / back lengthens and widens...

Turtle head

On my way back from work: I'm trying to see how much credit I have on my oyster card and look more closely at the reader on the bus. Notice that I pulled my head forward in a manner that put some unnecessery tension on my torso.

It'd be enough to take a little step forward.

Useful to see...

Constructive response

I have loads loads to do!!

How to deal with? What to do? What to do? ...

I Have a lie-down.

My new strategy for situations like this. At one point I noticed a very strong end-gaining and mental tension - a non-constructive energy wasting approach. Non doing seemed the best response to this. As it often is...

Sitting on the floor

Today I experimented with sitting on the floor in a different manner than usual. Actually, when I do the Morning Sitting or meditate I prefer and do sit on the chair.

Why? I find it impossible to maintain the effortless sense of going up when sitting cross-legged. But today I sat on fairly high and hard cushions (ca.40 cm). The front of the lower legs was in touch with the floor, and the direction of my legs was just slightly outwards.

This helped to find a solid sense of being grounded through my sitting bones and allowed the freedom in the hip-joints that is impossible for me when sitting cross-legged. Excellent.

Intention

From my At-A-Distance work report on Intention:

Sunday:

...Brushing my teeth - suddenly recall there's a toast being done in the kitchen - rush off to get there. Halfway there I notice there was no Intention in my movement.

1:34 p.m. I'm standing - just about to leave to the kitchen. I can't find the inner stillness. It is clear that without this stillness there's no real Intention.

Go for a walk. Stop few times on the way to reconnect with the original intention of walking with the awareness of the body. I quickly realize that the intellectual attempt to stay in touch with this intention is not going to work...

Monday:

I visited the Alexander Training School today. There was a signigicant difference in the way I moved after the day of work. The intention was kind of dwelling in my body and I was present to it. It was simple, effortless and non-intellectual. Actually thinking about it seemed to spoil the experience...

Stillness in Activity

The Theme for the Term in LCATT is Stillness in Activity.

The observations that came to me today:

It might be useful to look at the stillness of the body, emotions & mind separately, perhaps taking the stillness of the body as the beginning point? (i.e. the Alexander Technique, the Morning Sitting)

Without the inner stillness we can only react.

With the inner stillness one can respond.

LCATT

Today I have visited the London Centre for Alexander Technique and Training.

http://www.lcatt.org.uk/

This is where I'm going to do my training - the final decision.

There are many things I find attractive in LCATT, just to give one example: having a group Inhibition at the Beginning and End of the day.

Quality.

Recovery

I'm recovering from very hard and busy last few days at school today. My strategy is to pause every hour and do the lie-down, or other AT activity. I have no teacher to put hands on me available, but I do what I can anyway.

As a help I'm using some audio recordings (G.Park, C.Nicholls, S.B.Cushman) It helps in directing attention.

Another pause in 20 minutes...

Head-neck

The point of connection between the head and the neck. For how many years I've thought it was at the bottom of the head? It's actually much higher than people think.

This is something I'm currently looking more closely at.

And the habit I noticed today: I tend to lean forward when sitting on the chair.

Mind Body 40 Days

Current AT reading - Sandra B Cusham's 'Mind Body 40 Days':

http://mindbody40days.blogspot.com/

End gaining

Yesterday I suddenly felt unwell at work, that was around lunchtime. This off-balance feeling stayed with me until today. Now I'm home, recovering - what would be a good strategy for re-centering?

I'm going to do a lie-down in a minute, to shift more from doing to being mode.

Modern schools are end-gaining. It's almost all about achieving specific results and targets - this is insane and harmful to both students and teachers. What is not addressed is the process - how to stay balanced, healthy and connected to oneself and what is around us while being challenged and under pressure. In this respect students and teachers are on their own.

Reaction - Response

It is possible to choose our response to the situation, but this requires training. Most of the times we just habitually react.

Yesterday I was involved in the situation, when one person panicked. On that particular occassion I felt that the right response on my part was to do nothing. Doing nothing is active.

This situation reminded me that without stopping (inhibiting) in front of the situation that puts pressure on us, we give our habits permission to take even stronger hold of our actions, and we are therefore more likely to react, and not respond.

The most useful tool I have come across for learning how to respond is the AT.

The current great challenge for me is how to apply this within the school environment.

Release

Today was the first day at work after a long break. I found myself very tensed after work when I came back home, mainly in my knee & hip joints.

The lie-down helped to release some of these tensions, although not completely, the tension in the lower half of the body was gone, but the process revealed more holding in the shoulders.

What is more interesting is that I was able to notice my attitude to one task I have to do tonight gradually changing. That is, what seemed to be dull and unattractive chore before, gradually became something that simply needed to be done and I could visualize myself doing it with ease & without negative attitude.

Wonderful to be reminded that the key to so many of our weakness lies in simply improving our bodily functioning and coordination. This can only lead us up to a certain point, yet it's necessary.

Meditation & conditioning of the body

I have heard the view that the body needs to be conditioned in order to be prepared for the stillness of meditation.

Well, speaking of preparing for stillness it's also necessary to de-condition the body, that is, to stop repeating the harmful habitual patterns of tensing and collapsing.

Perhaps it's necessary to use both approaches?

In AT the process of change helps to come back to the condition we once expressed in every action as a child - freedom, spontaneity and ease. In a similar way meditation makes us like little children. Child-like, but not childish.

The Name

Alexander Technique - it doesn't sound like a good name to what is understood by AT to me. It sounds like another technique / therapy 'invented' in the 20th century.

AT was developed as a response to the need, it was discovered and not invented, as opposed to other techniques developed around the same time.

In my opinion AT deserves more universal name, something that would attract people, without evoking any misleading associations.