Sense of wonder

I had a before bed lie-down yesterday. A second, smaller wave of sickness came my way, and I couldn't really manage my attention and engage in the procedure. After 15 minutes I moved my legs from the floor, to bed and very quickly fell asleep.

And this morning I had a 10 minutes lie-down before the day, as advised, and again, I fell asleep. Still, I think it was useful.

After I came back from the busy day of supply work at the school, I had a moment of a deep release and relaxtation. With each breath the tensions of the day would go, it was in the momement. Each release would bring up some memory of the event in the day, probably assosiated with the particular tensions. I watched these thoughts & emotions impartially. The process left me with the sense of wonder.

Have a long lie-down before bed today. I'm aiming to extend them to one hour, but today begin with 40 minutes. This is quite a journey, there's time to look at things more in depth. At the end one layer of tension I haven't been aware of gets revealed: on my throat and upper chest. It's like a thin coat of tension.

Belly

One of my major body habits is tensing the belly muscles, do I have to add it interferes with my breathing big time?

Today I noticed some of the obstacles to inhibiting this misuse:

- judgemental thoughts of my belly as being too big that lead to 'drawing it in', and thus adding one tension/habit on top of another.

- emotional reaction to the above thought.

All closely related, a solid unchangeable block, unless all centres are involved in dealing with it. JGB's view (expressed in HWDT) on changing the habits springs to mind here.

And in the evening: a blissful and healing lie-down, like coming home after a long time! Huray!

Not much to report after few days of sickness...

Noise and movement

I was given a massage yesterday and noticed that my left side of the body was more tensed than the right one. Today while doing the dishes I noticed that I'm putting much more weight on my left foot. Is it possible it's a new bad habit?

On my way to Lewisham today - I'm standing outside one of the busy London stations. The place is crowded and very noisy: trains, buses, cars etc. I come back to my body, and scan it from the feet upwards, remind myself that this noise doesn't belong to me. Can I remain quiet and still in the midst of noise and movement? Not this morning.

Impossible

I had a little aim for my one lesson I taught today: to remember to ask my neck to be free at the beginning of the lesson. Perhaps sounds like a simple thing to do, but the idea was to introduce some AT work in the stressing school setting gradually, begin with the possible. Today even this was impossible, and now I know.

Signs of moving on

Last night before bed I had a very good lie-down, so went to bed collected. In the morning though, my mind and body was/were agitated and tensed. Perhaps a sign of progress? Going forward sometimes feels like going backward.

I came back from the school very tired, without much self-pitying myself I reaffirmed that I just need to re-engage with the AT once again - positively and without expectations.

During lie-down my muscles continued to resist, and confirmed the changes taking place - despite their total dislike of any change - they don't want it! It's an opportunity.

A lot of twitching during lie-down today.

I find this journal supportive in my daily practice of AT.
My aim is to keep it up for the next 18 days.

In the evening: listen to a very informative interview with a Connecticut based AT teacher: http://www.purevolume.com/ccatllc

A new old book

During today's sitting a little step was made towards more healthy and positive relationship with my body. It took 25 minutes to go through in-depth relaxation sequence, and there was a sense of both lightness and groundedness that followed. My use improved during the exercise.

Once I stood up after the practice and opened the door, the first thing I noticed was how strongly I grabbed the handle. I didn't react to this information, but simply took note of it. Now, when typing this I sense the contact of the hands with the computer and type lightly, for a change.

In the evening begin the first reading of Alexander's Constructive Conscious Control of the Individual. The reason I did put it away for such a long time was the difficult style of his writings. But hey, I can give it a shot, the time is now.

Moving towards effortlessness

My morning sitting was calm today, which I attribute to the recent lie-downs. Moving towards an effortless upright posture... Addressing how to.

... I'm sweeping & mopping the floor. My hand is holding the broom tightly, there's an excess of tension. I ask my hands to use only necessary tension...

Constructive rest

Just found this on one AT teacher blog:

Why must you do semi-supine if you want to improve quickly?

The person who regularly does semi-supine can progress eighteen times as fast as the person who doesn’t. They will progress even faster than that if they do it even more often.

What is this semi-supine? Semi-supine is the Alexander Technique lying down procedure, also known as “Constructive Rest”...

Not sure how that progress rate was estimated, but it's pretty impressive.

The opportunity to come back to AT is freely availably throughout the day, provided I notice it first. Then the choice to re-engage is available.

Currently I'm re-establishing daily twice a day lie-downs. Such a regular practice supports an ongoing and consistant work.

For a long period of time I lacked confidence that I can reconnect with the technique without the support of the teacher. At this moment it's a statement I deeply question.

Building up

Today's lie-down felt more like building up on yesterday's work. So it wasn't 'only' for the recovery like yesterday.

Peaceful practice, trust the spontaneity, allow the practice to unfold as I went along.

What follow was a quality in the body I recognized. Yes, it's something I am familiar with and experienced in the past - 5 years ago, for the first time, but the view of it is different today - as if looking at the same picture through glasses of a different colour.

I'm aiming to establish the continuous AT work through establishing the points of certainty first, AT lie-downs that is.

Link of interest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z7TVu-m9qc&feature=related

Take care about the beginning

During today's lie-down I concluded that my body hasn't been in such a bad shape as it is now for at least 5 years.

Take care about the beginning of lie-down procedure today - pay attention to the body - accept its condition impartially.

Now to second lie-down.

After-lesson residues

Yesterday after teaching the class in the morning I went outside. I gave my attention to the neck and requested it 'to be free'. That's when I noticed that I have completely forgotten my use during the lesson.

The lesson was very challenging and coming back to the body and doing nothing seemed like the best way of dealing with after-lesson residues.